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zephyrmelodies

Month

July 2014

Dictionary of Whimsy: Funzies

Funzies, adjective

1. Situation where something has to be done that is annoying, frustrating, emotionally draining or darn annoying, and where an individual knows this before having to do the something. Therefore, they say this word to take the sting away from the activity, and make it seem more fun*.

2. Sarcastic word for any activity that is not enjoyable to the individual, which attempts to show enjoyment.

3. Word for ‘grin and bear it’ or ‘smile and think of England**’

4. Verbal fake smile

5. Word uttered about an unenjoyable activity to show grit and determination around making the best of said activity. In this context, a fake smile and delighted shrek are needed for maximum impact.

* This seldom works

**This is what Queen Victoria advised her daughter regarding sexual activities with her husband, a German prince.

Hearts filled with love, not anger

“The heart is like a box; if it is filled with rubbish, there is no space for other things. I could not love (my husband) Rodrigo and his daughter if my heart was choked with bitterness.”

Inez of my Soul by Isabel Allende, p.261

In this book, Inez is learning to deal with her lover of eight years dumping her to save his own skin. It is a blow from which she recovers, and she lives a long and wonderful life afterwards with her husband and his daughter.

I like this quote because it inspires me to get rid of the annoyed feelings that I have for some people in my past. When I think those feelings, I remind myself my heart is reserved for thoughts of those I love. My friends,  and my family, and wonderful moments in my life when I listen to music I love, and dance like a lady possessed (by the music of course!!).

Dictionary of Whimsy: DanceClick

Danceclick,

(1) A situation when a dance just *works*. The lead gets what the follow is doing – the follower follows what the lead is doing. It works well with the music, and the dance feels like pure joy for one or both parties. It is plausible that it looks good as well – but this is not completely necessary.

(2) A reason why I dance. They do not happen all the time, but when they do, I talk about them for weeks afterwards – or months afterwards.

(3) A situation when two individuals dance with each other for the first time and it is easy fun straight away. The reverse of this situation is when a two individuals take a while to learn to dance together well.

Notes:

(1) Danceclicks can be mutual or one sided

(2) One contributor to danceclicks (both mutual and one sided) can be physical or sexual attraction, but this is optional

(3) To maximise danceclicks, the key is a good attitude towards the people and music that the dance is with

(4) Danceclicks can happen in social circle dancing situations as well

(5) Danceclicks can happen between the individual and their music in the privacy of their own room, at least they can for this blogger.

Dictionary of Whimsy: Umbrellable

Umbrellable, adjective

(1) Rain that can co-exist with umbrellas

(2) Rain without wind

(3) Rain that can fall without destruction of umbrellas or need to move umbrellas around to prevent umbrella destruction

(4) Rain in cities that have umbrella stands in the front of the shop*

Antonym:

Unumbrellable, adjective

(1) Rain that can remove umbrellas from hands of unsuspecting** umbrella holders with force

(2) Rain that twists umbrellas into configurations which are useful for art installations but utterly useless for preventing umbrella holders from getting rain on them

(3) Horizontal or angled rain, which will reach all people on the ground regardless of whether they are using an umbrella, rendering umbrellas absolutely useless, even when they are fancy ones that will not be broken by wind storms***.

*As a Wellingtonian, I think that this is quite adorable

** To be fair, these umbrella holders should be suspecting. Indeed, they should be well aware of that their umbrellas are in peril. This is especially true when they live in Wellington.

*** Do those actually work?

Dictionary of Whimsy: Freezzled

Freezzled, verb

(1) To be cold to the point of a suboptimal headspace – or to be in the process of getting to this suboptimal headspace

(2) To be cold, and needing to put myriads of extra clothes on, only to find the ability to put extra clothes on is compromised by shivering, swearing, and putting gloves on before buttoning up warmifying clothes (thus needing to take gloves off, and coldify hands)

(3) Contraction of freezing and frazzled.

(4) To feel anger at cars (driving past and splashing you with rain water), annoyance at weather announcers, a need to ingest chillis and other thoughts that are only rational when one is cold

Dealing with those who are in pain… or actually anyone!

A friend sent me this:

‘Does it piss you off? I mean, the ‘constantly in pain’ thing. I get a little angry whenever you mention it, because I think it’s bullshit that you have to put up with that. Hell, I’m getting a little ragey right now just typing this up, but I know I can’t do anything about it but complain, which fuels my self-perpetuating cycle of dismay (that this is your lot in life) and annoyance (that I can’t do anything to help).’

He is a great guy. He is wrong in one thing: there is something that he, and anyone reading this can do.

My illness is invisible. Even people who have contact with me on a daily basis have no idea about it. Hell, people I have dated for months do not get told about it. I get told that I look fabulous, when, in all honesty, I feel like my right side is being roasted by acidic coals. But talking about acidic coals is not a great idea in polite conversation, so I just smile and say thanks.

I read a quote on Facebook which said:

Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind.

If you, my readers, want to do things for people with chronic pain, the best thing is to to be sensitive to all people, and to realise that you really have no idea about the battles that the people around you may be fighting. Most of us do not obviously suffer, unless we get accessories like limps, crutches, and wheelchairs. Some of us have no idea that our condition is unusual, so we will not be able to tell you. If it costs you something to be kind, maybe you have a chronic pain yourself, even if it is emotional rather than physical.

Dealing with the Grumpies

Chronic pain makes me grumpy

I am only now beginning to realise the impact that chronic pain has on my mood. Pain is always there, so it is my version of normal. It is a bit of liquid in the glass meaning that the glass is more likely to overflow when more water liquid is poured into it. I would notice if it came and went, but it is there all the time, so I don’t. I would be less grumpy if I did not have chronic pain; I am certain of this.

For me, it is worst when:

– I am stressed

– I do not get time to do lots of moving

– it is cold

– I am suffering from a fever

– I have not eaten enough

– I have just woken up

My pain, my responsibility

Ultimately, this pain is my problem, and no one else’s, so I try not to get grumpy with others when it strikes. This can prove difficult. I got very grumpy with a guy I dated last year. His inability to respect me or treat me as an equal played into this, but the pain did make me blow up at him far more that I should have in ways that I am not proud of. I will do better next time.

There are things I can do to reduce the pain as well, and I need to keep doing some and get better at doing others.

In terms of attitude, I try very hard to be positive, but this is not my default setting when my muscles feel like hot acid is pulsing through them, or even in general. But when I see the world as a better place, things are less painful.

How I deal – general stuff

In terms of all points but the last, when my schedule allows, I usually isolate myself from most people until I am less grumpy. I do not like spreading the grumpies.  My mind is harsh and judgemental at times, and when I am grumpy, the part that filters harsh judgemental thoughts stops working. My ability to deal with negative or toxic people also collapses, so I try to keep away from them as much as possible.

Specific things

Cures for the temporary grumpies which work for me are listed below, but everyone will have different triggers and different cures:

– Spending time with people who I love, and who can deal with me when I have the grumpies. I love these people more than I can say.

– Chatting people online who answer to the above description.

– Moving, which often involves dancing to obnoxious popular music in my own bedroom.

–  Forcing myself to go out and do stuff. This needs to be carefully calculated stuff *

– Eating lollies (yes, I know this is bad)

– Big fake smiles (Pavlov is a thing!)

The short of it

Managing this condition is my responsibility. A huge part of it is self-awareness, especially learning what makes things worse and limiting them as much as possible. In the end, this will not kill me, and it does not stop me from doing things I enjoy. I am lucky in that, so I keep doing the things I enjoy, and the stuff the professionals tell me to do. It works pretty slowly, but it is working a little. I will get there.

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